13 Effective Books On Dealing With A Narcissistic Mother

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If you have a narcissistic mother, you need a way to deal with the aftermath of emotional — and maybe physical — abuse. You simply must process the negative aftereffects of having survived a childhood with a narcissist. The abuse has affected you, and you do need to work through it so that you can get free of the patterns it has created in your life. To do that, you’re going to need something that can help you find your way into the light. 

These 13 highly effective books can help dealing with a narcissistic mother: 

  1. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
  2. You’re Not Crazy – It’s Your Mother
  3. Narcissistic Mothers (and Their Loveless Baggage)
  4. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
  5. Why Is It Always About You?
  6. Mothers Who Can’t Love
  7. Narcissistic Mothers
  8. Toxic Parents
  9. The Drama of the Gifted Child
  10. I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
  11. The Truth Will Set You Free
  12. Rising Strong
  13. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult

Read on to learn more about each of these resources so you can choose which ones might be best for you. I’ll get into some of the details in these books that can help you reclaim your life and live it to the fullest. 

1. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D

This book is written specifically for daughters of narcissistic mothers. The mother-daughter relationship often faces significant challenges even in healthy relationships, but when the mother is a narcissist, it becomes even more challenging. Narcissistic mothers often view their daughters as a source of competition and can heap even more abuse on them than their sons. 

This book draws on over two decades of experience from Dr. Karyl McBride who specializes in women’s health. She has interviewed hundreds of daughters of narcissistic mothers, and she can help you recognize the effects of a toxic mother’s emotional abuse. She can also help you create a personalized program to help you recover and go on to live a fulfilling life. 

2. You’re Not Crazy – It’s Your Mother: Freedom for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Danu Morrigan

This is another book specific for daughters of narcissistic mothers, and it draws on thousands of interviews from victims of narcissistic abuse. For any daughter struggling with their relationship with their mother, this book can help. 

The author is the founder of daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com, and she has helped many women recover from their narcissistic abuse and go on to live happy, satisfying lives. The book details effective strategies for escaping the toxicity of your relationship with your mother and beginning to heal yourself from its effects. 

Millions of women have experienced the same crazy-making (not so) funhouse that is a daughter’s relationship with her narcissistic mother. This book helps you recognize the signs of a narcissistic mother, explains why your relationship is so strained, and offers supportive techniques for making the journey of self-healing. 

3. Narcissistic Mothers (and Their Loveless Baggage): 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing by Abigail Trent, Eileen Huxley, Lizzie Duarth, Tina Ejiofor, Annelise Burlett, and Paisley

These women have been through it all, and they have a lot of effective advice to help you heal from the abuse of your narcissistic mother. They offer insight into how to cope with and manage your feelings. The authors aren’t mental health experts, but they know what they’re talking about because they’ve been through it. 

They were left with deep emotional scars as a result of the toxic abuse they suffered at the hands of their own mothers. They found the strength, however, to work toward healing themselves so they could live happier, healthier lives. They can help you do the same. 

These women also represent the diversity of no less than four countries, and they detail how narcissism interacts with cultural values to impact your life. Their inspiring stories can help you understand your true worth and inspire you to rise above the emotional abuse you’ve suffered. 

4. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist who specializes in helping adult children of emotionally immature parents. In this book, she offers effective strategies for dealing with those lingering feelings of betrayal, anger, loneliness, and/or abandonment. 

She specifically takes you through the various ways in which toxic parents can have a devastating effect on your life. But she also helps you realize those wounds can be healed, and you can move on to have a happy, fulfilling life. She explains the four types of problem parents and how you can free yourself from their toxicity. 

5. Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

Sandy Hotchkiss is a licensed psychoanalyst who specializes in helping people recover from relational trauma and the dynamics of the interpersonal aspect of personality disorders. In this book, she explains how you can cope with controlling, egotistical people who are unable to sustain healthy relationships. 

She discusses how they developed their personality disorder as well as why you get sucked into their world. She also takes you through effective strategies you can use to break free of their effects. She describes what she calls the seven deadly sins of narcissism as shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation, and bad boundaries. 

She then discusses how parenting and culture both interact to play a role in the creation of these sins. If you need help recovering from narcissistic abuse, this book is just the ticket. 

6. Mothers Who Can’t Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier Glynn

Susan Forward has more than 35 years worth of experience as a therapist and has helped thousands of people recover from toxic parenting. This book examines specifically the impact a toxic mother has on her daughters. 

The authors explain the impact of this kind of emotional abuse, and they provide clear, highly effective techniques for overcoming the legacy of a narcissistic mother as well as other types of toxic mothers. 

The book presents compelling case studies as well as self-help techniques for people who are ready to learn how to take control of their lives and be their own heroes. 

7. Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Toxic Mother – A Guide for Healing and Recovering After Narcissistic Abuse by Bianca Sutton

This book offers a comprehensive look at how toxic mothers affect your life, and the steps you can take to break free of their abuse. The author details the signs and symptoms that you are suffering from the effects of abuse from a narcissistic mother. 

The book details, in a compassionate way, the struggles that people dealing with a narcissist go through including the denial of friends and family that can be so devastating. The book then goes on to discuss how you can recognize a narcissistic mother, the treatment options that are out there for narcissistic abuse, and several tips for protecting yourself from ongoing abuse. It also discusses how you can heal yourself right now from the effects of such a toxic mother. 

8. Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward and Craig Buck

This is another book by experience therapist Susan Forward. In this book, she discusses the effect of toxic parents on their children, and how those affected can reclaim their lives. She describes the various signs that your parents were toxic and takes you through specific and effective techniques for freeing yourself from their legacy so that you can go on to become self-confident and emotionally independent. 

9. The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Third Edition by Alice Miller

Alice Miller was renowned for her work on childhood trauma, and in this book, she discusses the enduring effects it has on your ability to deal with feelings of repressed anger and pain. She notes that many of the most successful people suffer with feelings of emptiness and alienation. 

As children, these kinds of people often had to hide their own feelings, dismiss their own needs, and distort their memories so that they could live up to their parents’ high expectations and ‘win’ their love. This is a common problem for the children of narcissists who often become numb in order to survive the abuse they are enduring. Miller discusses this as well as effective techniques to reclaim your life and speak your own truth. 

10. I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” by Brené Brown

Children of narcissists are often driven to be perfect, a quest which leaves them exhausted and emotionally drained. They are manipulated and controlled by their toxic parents and learn to hide their own shame, judgment, and self-criticism. These are the struggles that renowned speaker and author, Dr. Brené Brown tackles in this book. 

Her work has focused on feelings of vulnerability and shame and how those feelings keep us from living up to our full potential. In this book, she guides the reader through the process of realizing that their vulnerabilities are not weakness at all, but rather, powerful reminders that we need to stay open and recognize the humanity in all of us. She discusses how these gifts help us develop empathy and experience love, laughter, and gratitude. 

11. Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

This is another highly effective book by renowned author and social scientist, Dr. Brené Brown. In this book, she discusses how delving into our own stories can help us regain our footing in life. It may feel dangerous and test your courage, but this is how our values are forged and how we can truly reckon with our emotions and get to a place of truth. Using the process she describes everyday can help you cultivate wholeheartedness and learn about your true value. 

12. The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self by Alice Miller

This is another highly effective book from childhood trauma specialist and psychoanalyst, Alice Miller. In this book, she discusses how embracing the truth of those early wounds can set you free from the legacy they created. She draws on cutting edge research into how the brain develops to demonstrate how those early traumas can produce denial and lead to emotional blindness. She also discusses how this cycle can easily repeat itself to create intergenerational trauma. It is only with awareness that we can break this devastating cycle. 

13. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) by Pema Chodron

Renowned spiritual teacher and Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, has authored numerous self-help books. In this book, she presents a series of talks she gave between 1987 and 1994. These talks discuss how you can use your painful past experiences and difficult emotions to help cultivate wisdom, compassion, and courage. 

By communicating your experiences, you can encourage others to open up instead of shutting down. Chodron also discusses numerous helpful practices for reversing negative habitual patterns that result from childhood abuse. She goes on to discuss how to handle chaotic situations and create effective social action. She helps you learn how to stand in the truth that you are well despite the abuse and chaos that surrounds. These techniques can help anyone affected by a narcissistic mother. 

Final Thoughts

These books are written by professional psychoanalysts, narcissism specialists, victims of narcissistic abuse, social workers, and spiritual leaders. All of them have valuable advice and practical techniques for dealing with and healing from the kind of abuse the child of a narcissistic mother endures. These books have helped millions of people, and they can help you too. 

If you’re dealing with the pain and trauma of having been raised by a narcissistic mother, you’ll definitely want to check out this post on how to deal with your narcissistic mother as an adult. It will help you understand the options available to you so you can protect yourself from further abuse and heal the trauma you suffered.

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Patricia

Narcissistic abuse takes a terrible toll on your life. I’m Patricia, and my mother is a narcissist, so I know what you’re going through. These blog posts will help you understand narcissism better and give you tips for dealing with the narcissists in your life. Healing starts here!


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