Empaths are uniquely positioned to confront and destroy narcissists. What’s more, empaths and narcissists have a surprising attraction for one another. When a narcissist and a super-empath – someone who can physically feel the feelings of others – get together, the results can be devastating, particularly for the narcissist.
Here are 9 ways a super-empath can use their extraordinary sensitivity to other people’s feelings to destroy a narcissist:
- Crush the Narcissist’s Sense of Entitlement;
- Undermine the Narcissist’s Passive-Aggression;
- They Break the Narcissist’s Ego;
- They Dominate the Narcissist;
- They Deflect the Narcissist’s Projection;
- They Insist on Accountability;
- They Identify the Narcissist’s Insecurities;
- They Can Change a Narcissist’s Mindset;
- They Mirror the Narcissist’s Behavior.
Super-empaths are people who are extremely sensitive to other people’s feelings. While 30 percent of people are considered to be empaths, researchers in the psychology department at the University of London found that only approximately 1 to 2 percent of the population are considered to be super-empaths. These highly sensitive people can spot the pain of a narcissist, and they can also use that ability to destroy them. Read on to learn the ways a super-empath can do this as well as how super-empaths differ from other people and the dangers they face in a relationship with a narcissist.
What is a Super-Empath?
To be an empath means that you have the ability to sense other people’s feelings. For example, you can feel it when someone is anxious or sad, or happy and at peace. A super-empath, however, is someone who can not only sense other people’s emotions, they actually ‘feel’ them in a very real sense.
Super-empaths experience what is known as mirror-touch synaesthesia, and it’s very rare. Only about 1.6 percent of the population has this ability. If you have mirror-touch synaesthesia, or MTS, if you see someone touching another person’s face, you will actually feel as if your own face is being touched.
This means that the super-empath can not only sense the emotions of other people, they can actually feel those sensations in their own body. That makes them extremely sensitive to the emotions of other people.
For that reason, the super-empath can ‘feel’ the inner turmoil, shame, and self-loathing the narcissist masks with their outward arrogance. This is part of what attracts empaths in general to narcissists. They see the pain the narcissist is in, and they want to help.
Super-empaths are the same, but they are also highly intelligent people who understand their own worth. They have high self-esteem, and they understand their worth. That’s what makes them extremely dangerous to the narcissist. They understand what’s really going on with the narcissist, and the super-empath won’t put up with their manipulative antics.
That’s why the super-empath can destroy the narcissist in the following ways. Let’s explore each of these.
1. Crush the Narcissist’s Sense of Entitlement
One of the hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder is a sense of entitlement. The narcissist infuses the false image they’ve created of themselves with the belief that they deserve everything that is good in life. They also don’t think they should have to work for those good things.
The super-empath has the ability to see through that entitlement and tell the narcissist like it is. They won’t hesitate to let the narcissist know that they are not entitled to anything and that they should be grateful for what they do have in life.
The willingness of the super-empath to confront the narcissist is a big part of why they are able to crush their sense of entitlement. When confronted, the narcissist fears their true self will be exposed. They don’t want to risk that, and they will turn to other tactics or change their behavior with the super-empath.
While the super-empath is compassionate toward the narcissist’s pain, they also understand that the only way out for the narcissist is to confront the truth. That’s why they’re often willing to call out the narcissist for their bad behavior.
Moreover, it’s exactly their empathy that attracts the narcissist, because they believe the super-empath will want to focus on the narcissist’s needs. In fact, they are trying to do just that by helping them overcome their narcissism. They see the pain behind the bravado, and they understand what will truly help the narcissist in the long run.
2. Undermine the Narcissist’s Passive-Aggression
Narcissists often use passive-aggressive techniques to devalue and manipulate the people around them. Super-empaths are able to pick up on what they’re doing and see through the attempts of the narcissist to control them.
When they see the passive-aggression behind the behavior of the narcissist, they are able to respond in a calm manner without giving the narcissist what they truly want – the emotional response that makes the narcissist feel powerful.
Since super-empaths are in touch with their emotions, they are able to control them and respond in exactly the opposite manner the narcissist was hoping for. The super-empath can then turn the tables on the narcissist and confront them with their behavior.
While the narcissist might respond with their characteristic rage, the super-empath is able to remain calm and simply ask the narcissist what’s behind their behavior. That’s the last thing the narcissist wants to discuss, and this tactic usually makes them back down.
It’s an effective tactic that stops the narcissist in their tracks, and it can effectively destroy them if it exposes their inner shame and self-loathing. It’s not that the super-empath is being unsympathetic; rather, they understand it’s the only way for the narcissist to truly heal.
3. They Break the Narcissist’s Ego
Super-empaths are extremely intelligent people who are also in touch with their emotions. They see through the narcissist’s facade, and they can truly feel their pain. That means they are also able to see what will hurt the narcissist the most.
For that reason, when they need to call out the narcissist for their bad behavior, they can do so in a very forthright and effective way. Moreover, should the narcissist take to devaluing the super-empath, they are quite able to defend themselves.
They can use the narcissist’s tactics of devaluation to break the narcissist’s ego and bring them to their knees. The narcissist, who has convinced themselves that they are the superior one in the relationship, often won’t even see it coming.
It’s the superpower of the super-empath to be able to so easily read people and understand their strengths and their weaknesses. While they are compassionate people who seek to help others heal, they can also protect themselves in devastatingly effective ways.
The super-empath’s most effective tool is to turn off their emotions. They become icy cold, and they can then attack the narcissist’s vulnerable ego. They are quite capable of going for the jugular when they put their mind to it, and for the narcissist, it can destroy them.
4. They Dominate the Narcissist
Narcissists are used to being able to dominate in their relationships, and they are very effective at doing so. They are easily able to detect a person’s frailties and use them to manipulate and control their victim.
Unfortunately for their narcissist, they have met their match in the super-empath. These are people who can not only detect your fears, they can actually feel them in their own bodies. They can easily spot what makes someone afraid, and they see right through a narcissist very quickly.
When they understand the situation and know they’re dealing with a narcissist, they are easily able to develop a strategy to dominate the narcissist by keeping them on edge. The super-empath’s ability to sense the narcissist’s inner feelings is the worst fear for a narcissist.
It means the super-empath can see through to the narcissist’s true self, and that makes them dangerous because they can expose that to the world. The narcissist will want to avoid that at all costs, and in fact, the narcissist will often end the relationship to protect themselves.
If they don’t, the constant fear of being exposed can destroy the narcissist in the end. It makes them face their own truth which can result in a mental breakdown.
5. They Deflect the Narcissist’s Projection
Another favorite tactic of the narcissist is to project their own fears and flaws onto other people. It’s a way of diverting attention from their true feelings. The super-empath, however, is easily able to discern what is happening.
Super-empaths have a good understanding of their own emotions and abilities. They are grounded in self-awareness, and they have a solid self-esteem. That’s why this tactic simply doesn’t work on them.
When they see that’s what the narcissist is doing, they deflect those attempts and won’t respond in the way the narcissist expects. They will once again call out the behavior for what it is, thus exposing the narcissist’s weakness and inner turmoil.
Their resistance to these kinds of tactics is precisely what makes a super-empath so dangerous to the narcissist. In people who are not as well-grounded in their own self-awareness and sense of self-value, the narcissist can use this tactic to confuse them.
That allows them to then manipulate the person, but with the super-empath, it simply doesn’t work. Even worse, the super-empath then turns the tables by probing the reasons for the narcissist’s behavior. Once again, the narcissist must fear exposure and continued interaction with the super-empath can have devastating effects for their fragile self-esteem.
6. They Insist on Accountability
Super-empaths are not only extremely perceptive people, they are also people with a lot of integrity. Their self-awareness makes them fully aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and they are not afraid to confront their own flaws.
Because they are so honest about their own character, they insist on accountability from the people around them. The narcissist, on the other hand, will jump through all kinds of hoops to prevent anyone from blaming them or seeing their flaws.
The problem for the narcissist is that the super-empath is not afraid to confront them and insist that they need to be accountable for their actions. This is just devastating for the narcissist’s ego.
It’s something they can’t abide, and aside from the rageful response it provokes, the narcissist will often end a relationship with the empath because of this kind of honesty. The narcissist has been lying to everyone, including themselves, for their whole lives, and when someone insists they be accountable for their behaviors, they would rather run away.
7. They Identify the Narcissist’s Insecurities
Aside from seeing the narcissist’s behavior for what it is, the super-empath is also able to see the pain and insecurity the narcissist lives with. They literally feel their pain, and they want to help.
The problem for the narcissist is that the super-empath knows the only way to really help is to confront those insecurities head on as well as the root causes behind those feelings. Most of the time, narcissists are unable to do this since it means exposing what they believe is a worthless true self.
Narcissism is created in childhood when the development of a healthy sense of self is disrupted. This usually happens because they are told by abusive parents that they are worthless.
Even well-meaning parents can cause this to happen if they shelter their child too much and never let them attempt anything. In either case, the child comes to believe that they are not capable of doing things for themselves; that is, they come to believe that their true self is hopelessly flawed.
The shame and self-loathing that creates in the child causes them to bury that flawed true self and construct a false image. Sadly, they then try to infuse that false image with all the character traits they believe themselves to lack.
In their own child-like way, they are trying to prop themselves up, to make themselves feel worthwhile. They infuse their false image with the belief they are superior, omniscient, and omnipotent. The super-empath sees right through this to their true insecurities and fears. That is truly terrifying to the narcissist and can easily destroy them.
8. They Can Change a Narcissist’s Mindset
While it’s not likely, if the narcissist stays in a relationship with a super-empath, the empath can ultimately change the narcissist’s mindset and reduce their narcissistic tendencies. They can effectively destroy the narcissism without destroying the narcissist.
They see what’s at the heart of the narcissist’s low self-esteem, and they want to help. They also have the ability to see what will help, and because they are extraordinarily empathetic, they are well-positioned to help a narcissist heal.
They can use their empathy to give the narcissist the compassion and kindness they need to overcome the childhood trauma that created their personality disorder. Still, for this to happen, the narcissist has to be willing to change.
That’s a problem because most narcissists can never admit they are flawed in any way. It simply makes them feel too vulnerable and too exposed. But the super-empath has a unique ability to draw out the narcissist’s fears, and if the narcissist chooses to heal, they can help them to confront and overcome them.
While this is a possibility, it isn’t the responsibility of the super-empath, and it’s not something other people should expect them to do. It’s also not a burden they should place on themselves. Only a narcissist can choose to change themselves.
That’s true of anyone, but if the narcissist does choose to change, a super-empath can help them do so. That’s also why many super-empaths become effective psychotherapists.
9. They Mirror the Narcissist’s Behavior
Another way that the super-empath can destroy the narcissist is by mirroring their toxic behavior back at them. Once a super-empath realizes they are dealing with a narcissist, they can easily tap into the narcissist’s feelings of insecurity.
They can then understand why the narcissist acts the way they do, and they can give them a taste of their own medicine. It’s an effective technique against a narcissist because much of what the narcissist dishes out comes from their projection of their own traits.
The super-empath doesn’t have those insecurities, but they can readily see why they provoke the narcissist’s toxic behavior. The empath can then use that understanding to mirror the behavior back to the narcissist.
This tactic is very successful at breaking down the narcissist’s attempts to manipulate and control the super-empath. It also forces them to see the effect their own behavior has on the people around them.
When the narcissist is forced to confront their own behavior, they often respond with rage, but later they may experience a narcissistic collapse. This happens when they are forced to confront their own weaknesses and their true self.
While it can be emotionally devastating, it is also the doorway to healing. If the narcissist can stick it out, the super-empath can help them to see that their true self was never worthless to begin with.
That can be the start of their healing journey. It’s possible, but still unlikely. Most narcissists retreat from having to experience a narcissistic collapse. They would rather break off the relationship than face the truth about their own behavior and the causes behind it.
If they do work with the super-empath, the narcissist can experience a complete change of their mindset. They can then go on to have a full, healthy life.
Can a Narcissist Hurt a Super-Empath?
Super-empaths often don’t know they’re super-empaths. They’ve been experiencing and integrating the feelings of others their entire lives. If a super-empath is at a stage in their life where they have not self-actualized and don’t fully understand their abilities, it can make them vulnerable to the narcissist.
Because super-empaths are highly sensitive people, they can easily be overwhelmed by the emotions and sensations they receive from the people around them. If they don’t know how to take care of themselves, they can become codependent around a narcissist.
Codependents are people who often experienced their own childhood trauma, and that caused them to subsume their needs in favor of the needs of others. For empaths, they are acutely aware of the needs of others, and it’s easy for them to lose themselves as they seek to help someone.
Super-empaths can easily become overwhelmed by the extremely needy narcissist, and if they don’t have strong boundaries, they can fall into codependency. They will ignore their own needs to try and meet every need of the narcissist.
The problem with that is that the narcissist’s needs are unending. No one can ever do enough to satisfy the narcissist. Until the narcissist works on treating the underlying causes of their own illness, they will never feel satisfied.
It’s also true that narcissists have an uncanny ability to pick up on the weaknesses of the people around them. A super-empath who is not fully aware of their abilities can easily fall prey to the manipulation tactics narcissists use to control people.
While it is true that the super-empath can destroy the narcissist, it is also unfortunately true that a narcissist can destroy a super-empath. That’s why they need strong boundaries and good self-care to keep that from happening.
Super-empaths are self-actualized, compassionate people who often seek to help others heal their emotional trauma. They are able to see through the narcissist’s facade quite easily and turn it against them in a devastatingly effective way. It allows them to turn the tables on the narcissist and force them to face their own bad behavior and the reasons behind it. Their abilities can be a healing tool for the narcissist or they can destroy the narcissist, but the empath must also protect themselves with strong boundaries and regular self-care practices.
The super-empath must understand their own emotional frailties. Just like anyone else, they have emotional triggers that the narcissist can use to manipulate and control them. Recognizing and healing those triggers is an important step for anyone, but particularly for the super-empath. A free copy of my 5 Step Roadmap to Heal Emotional Triggers can help you do that so that you can free yourself to use your abilities for the most good. Just click on the link and I’ll send it directly to your inbox for free!
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