Not all cheaters are narcissists, but infidelity among narcissists is very common. Narcissists are master manipulators, and they aren’t shy about deceiving the people they supposedly love either.
They are great at presenting a false mask, lying and gaslighting their friends and family members into believing what they’re saying. That’s why they can often get away with cheating for a long time.
Of course, there are different types of narcissists so your narcissistic husband might not display exactly the same behaviors as another narcissist, but there are some general signs that indicate you’re being deceived. Discover several warning signs that your narcissistic husband might be cheating on you.
Signs He’s a Cheater
These general warning signs might indicate your narcissistic husband is not being faithful.
1. He Protests Too Much
It’s one thing for a romantic partner to express a belief in fidelity, but when your narcissistic husband goes on and on about how much he despises cheating, that could be a red flag. If he finds it necessary to express repeatedly how honest and faithful he is, he’s probably not.
In fact, it’s not uncommon for the narcissistic spouse to tell their partner a sad story about how they were cheated on and could, therefore, never do such a thing to someone else. Remember that the narcissist is constantly presenting a different image to the world than what is actually the truth.
2. He Works Late — A Lot
If your husband is constantly cancelling your plans with the excuse that he has to work late, that could indicate he’s cheating on you. That could be true with any husband, but the narcissist is particularly adept at lying to get what he wants.
It’s a particularly worrying sign if, after he calls to say he’s working late, you can’t reach him for a while. If you confront him about that, he may fly into a narcissistic rage and act offended that you would even suggest such a thing.
It’s this overreaction that often sets the narcissist apart from other husbands. Narcissistic husbands may also start a fight with you just so they can storm out and seek refuge in the arms of their lover.
3. Social Media Flirtations
Narcissists often use social media to give them a greater sense of validation and power since it’s easy to find people who will like what they put out into the world and show their admiration by following their posts. If someone starts flirting with them, they may be unable to resist the temptation to start something more.
It is also very common for narcissists to sign up on dating apps regardless of the fact that they are in a committed relationship. If they seem overly protective of their comments or photos they might have taken and not sharing them with you, this can be a red flag that something’s going on.
You might also notice they are frequently adding suspicious new ‘friends.’ It can also, however, be a red flag if your narcissistic husband has no social media accounts at all. They could be hiding their activity from you so they won’t get caught.
4. Compulsive Lying
Narcissists are commonly compulsive liars. They frequently lie to manipulate people and control the way the world views them. It makes them even more adept at lying about cheating.
If your narcissistic husband seems to lie pathologically about even small things, that could be a big red flag that they can’t be trusted to be a faithful partner, either. Of course, they’ll lie to avoid being caught, but they may also lie for no reason at all.
The ability to lie and have you believe them gives them a sense of power and superiority. They come to believe that they can get away with anything. So, if you notice they are lying about small things, you should be suspicious they’re also lying about much bigger things.
5. Extreme Jealousy
This is a distraction method that the narcissist may use to throw you off the scent. They think that if they accuse you of being unfaithful and show extreme contempt for that kind of behavior, then you won’t be suspicious of them.
If you ever try to confront them about their infidelity, be prepared for them to try to turn the tables on you. They might say something like, “Why are you accusing me of that? Are you doing something you shouldn’t be doing?”
It’s difficult to talk about your suspicions if you’re having to defend yourself from your husband’s accusations. They’ll also resort to gaslighting by accusing you of being delusional when you try to bring up this subject. It’s another kind of overreaction that should raise your suspicions.
6. A Change in Sex Habits
While a change is sex habits is a red flag for any husband, it’s a particularly big clue when your husband is a narcissist. Sex is one way that a narcissist gets their supply of admiration and adoration, and that causes them to want it frequently.
If your narcissistic husband is suddenly not wanting it so much or if they are demanding it even more, both could indicate they are cheating on you. If they don’t want sex as much, that indicates they are getting it elsewhere. If they want it more, that could indicate they have recently broken up with a lover and are returning to get their fix from you.
Not all narcissists cheat and not all cheaters are narcissists, but there is research that indicates having Narcissistic Personality Disorder makes a person more likely to be unfaithful to their partner. It fits well with their obsessive need for attention and adoration.
If you see any of these signs in your narcissistic husband, you have good reason to suspect he is not being faithful. Overreactions are typical of narcissists especially when their ego is offended at your suspicions. This is true even when they know you are correct.
It’s part of their pattern to distract and gaslight you in order to manipulate your behavior. Should you discover their infidelity and decide to break up with them, they will often respond with indignation followed soon after by feigned remorse.
It will be important to establish strong boundaries and take care of yourself in order to resist believing their lies. They are not considered master manipulators for nothing.
If your narcissistic husband is cheating on you, you might be interested in learning how to get out of the relationship. Check out the blog article, “How To Get Out Of A Relationship With A Narcissist,” to learn how to recognize your best path forward and how to equip yourself to preserve your integrity.
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